How's your selfishness these days? No, not the kind of selfishness you're probably thinking about, but the other? You know, the one that we think about from time to time, but neglect most of the time. The selfishness that focuses on making sure you are okay first. I coin this term as "self-fullness." It seeks to fill yourself first and daily.
Now that we have an understanding of what I'm referring to, think about it. Where are you in your self care? Do you really know what self-care means and how it looks?
Many of us, when we think of self-care, we think of exercising, eating healthy, meditating, journaling, etc. However, what we may fail to realize is that self-care comes in many forms, and it really should. Self-care for you should be just that, yours.
I advise my clients regularly to think of themselves first. This may sound icky at first because our society has taught us heavily that we are to put others before ourselves. I totally disagree with this notion as you cannot give to others what you don't already possess.
Think about what you possess today. I liken it to a well with water. We all know that a well can have different levels at any given time. As you read this, begin to think of where your well levels are. Are you full, half full, or almost dry?
How do you determine this? Take an inventory on how you are currently feeling in life right now? How are your stress levels? How does your body feel physically? How's your mental well-being? Your daily nutrition? The best way to rate these is to give yourself a number from 1-10, with "10" being the highest, meaning you are full to over-flowing, and "1" being the lowest, meaning your well is pretty much dried up.
Go ahead and rate yourself in these few areas. As you determine your number, now you know what, if anything, needs to be attended to in your life.
Self-full thinking says that you intentionally live to care for yourself first so that you can adequately care for others. No one is neglected or deprived. It's a win/win situation. If you find that your numbers are low and you are in need of being more "self-ful," you now begin to develop your plan for self-care.
Each thing you do for yourself daily adds water to your well. It's totally up to you how high your water levels will be at the end of each day. Remember that however you fill your well should be unique to you and not cookie-cutter. Cookie-cutter is boring and won't last if it doesn't fit who you are. You are unique and your self-ful plan of care should reflect this.
This means that you don't focus on engaging in activities that do not personally suit or fit who you are. We all know that exercising is vital for our continued health, but if you don't like to run or jog, then engage in a different form of exercising that you enjoy. In the long term, you will be more inclined to continue with your daily exercise rather than ditch it because you never liked it in the first place.
Develop a list of up to 10 things that you can do throughout the days of the week that bring balance and harmony to your being. They can be big or small based on your lifestyle and schedule. These activities can look like daily exercise for at least 30 minutes that you enjoy.
Increasing your water intake, with the first glass being first thing in the morning when you wake up. It could also be journaling daily, painting, crocheting, watching Netflix or other tv shows that you enjoy to unwind, or even just reading a good book that helps you to escape for a little while. Some of my clients have every other week massages that are mandatory, and others love a hot shot shower or bath using their favorite scented products for relaxation.
The list is totally up to you, but the most vital thing is that you have a list and that you follow it daily! I know you're busy, but so am I. There's no excuse to not take care of yourself any longer. Your well can only run on low for a certain amount of time before you run completely out of water. When this happens, you begin to experience deficiencies within yourself that show up as depression, anxiety, feeling tense constantly, and even obesity. All of these deficiencies lead to a lack of quality of life.
You deserve to have the highest quality of life, but you must be willing to create it. It's within your power to have a full well. It's within your creativity to develop a self-ful plan that you will enjoy and want to continue each and everyday. A little daily goes a very long way in your overall health and wellness. Here's to an amazing holiday season of giving to others, but make sure you are at the top of that list.
Let your thinking be "self-full" each and every day.
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