2018; Making New Year's Resolutions that Last
So, it's a new year right? 2018, and once again you find yourself hitting the reset button. You go down your usual list of things that you need to improve about yourself. Time to lose weight from all of that holiday food...or all of 2017 for that matter, so now you've sprung for that gym membership that's miraculously always on sale this time of year. You have promised yourself that you would begin getting up earlier in the morning instead of hitting that snooze button every 5 minutes. You are seeking to become more savvy at completing that to-do list by becoming an even better multi-tasker. Now instead of just cooking dinner while you help your children with their homework in the evening, after a long day of work, you are figuring out how to do these, plus wow your partner in the bedroom at least 3 out of those 5 days. Oh yea, and you've also decided to work a little bit harder at work to impress the boss, and maybe, just maybe, get that coveted promotion. Whew! Well, let me ask you this, "It's January 14, 2018. How's all that workin' out for ya'? Are you still going strong, or strongly burning out?
You know, I get it. I am a spouse, mother, and entrepreneur. I am a mental health therapist who equally shares in wearing all of those hats with you, and some at the same time. There are definitely days where it really seems as if we need more time just to keep from drowning in the endless sea of to-do's and to-be's. When I say "to-do," that is obviously the ability to complete that crazy list that goes on forever, and the "to-be's," are what or who you are expected to be while doing all of this. Sounds killer right?
I hate to break it to you, but the problem with all of this is there really is no end in sight. If all of these responsibilities and expectation were to end, where would that put you? Probably not living. Not to sound crass, but think about it, that really is life. It can be very demanding and have expectations that are seemingly impossible to meet. So, for the person who is reading this and thinks, "Well, I know people who just seem as if they have it all together and are on top of everything." I'm here to tell you that either they are covering things up pretty well, or have paid for some extra help.
You on the other hand have not quite been able to master being "perfect" at least all alone. Maybe in public you're able to put up a pretty good front though. Anyways, what I'd like to focus your attention and energy on at this present moment is "You," Yes, Y-O-U. In everything that I described above, did you notice that the focus of everything was on performance? It's wonderful to be able to perform at optimal capacity daily, and feel productive while you're at it, but is the focus of your performance for yourself or others?
I ask this important question because that's why many of us do not fulfill those New Year's resolutions, and that is why they remain exactly what they are and nothing more. If you have found yourself doing this, and would like to break this cycle and develop resolutions that become habits, then consider following these simple and few steps:
1. Determine who you have been performing for. Is it your spouse, partner, a boss, or even a parent, or child? Understanding why is also important, but not a necessary at this moment. Cut ties with these resolutions, because obviously they are not your own.
2. Revisit your list of resolutions and make adjustments as necessary. Make the changes that you would like to see in your life, for you. Here's a list of a few examples:
Create a vision board
Running a marathon
Exercising at 2-3 days out of 7
Getting a facial and massage monthly
Keeping a date night with your significant other
Going back to school
Stepping out of your comfort zone more
Travel a little more
Take those vacation days!!!
Take mental health days!!!
Meditate more
Start reading for pleasure again
Watch a good movie or TV series
Develop a new hobby that interests
Connect with old family or friends
3. Begin to keep a journal of your progress. Many times we do not turn our resolutions into habits because we get busy with the demands of life and plum forget about them, only to try to pick them back up again at the beginning of the next year. Follow a plan for journaling. This can be once per week, or once per month. However it works for you, but make sure you do it.
If journaling doesn't appeal to you, think of having someone close to you become your check-in partner. They will help to keep you accountable to yourself. Set your check-ins at interval times as well to remain consistent.
It's time to perform for yourself. Make 2018 the year of YOU! Focus more on your needs, desires and expectations, and not that of others. Be selfish for once. Understand that life's demands are endless, and there is truly no way you will ever finish every one's to-do list. Get comfortable with that notion, slow down your pace a little, and become more mindful of your own needs. Be faithful to yourself first, and you will notice just how more available, optimistic, energized, and present you are to meet life head on.
I would love to hear about your resolutions, and also how you plan to monitor your progress. Post a picture of your journal, or discuss a different way you will make this Your year!!!
visit my website at www.rwellnessservices.com
email me at rwellnessservices@gmail.com
Consultations are free!
You know, I get it. I am a spouse, mother, and entrepreneur. I am a mental health therapist who equally shares in wearing all of those hats with you, and some at the same time. There are definitely days where it really seems as if we need more time just to keep from drowning in the endless sea of to-do's and to-be's. When I say "to-do," that is obviously the ability to complete that crazy list that goes on forever, and the "to-be's," are what or who you are expected to be while doing all of this. Sounds killer right?
I hate to break it to you, but the problem with all of this is there really is no end in sight. If all of these responsibilities and expectation were to end, where would that put you? Probably not living. Not to sound crass, but think about it, that really is life. It can be very demanding and have expectations that are seemingly impossible to meet. So, for the person who is reading this and thinks, "Well, I know people who just seem as if they have it all together and are on top of everything." I'm here to tell you that either they are covering things up pretty well, or have paid for some extra help.
You on the other hand have not quite been able to master being "perfect" at least all alone. Maybe in public you're able to put up a pretty good front though. Anyways, what I'd like to focus your attention and energy on at this present moment is "You," Yes, Y-O-U. In everything that I described above, did you notice that the focus of everything was on performance? It's wonderful to be able to perform at optimal capacity daily, and feel productive while you're at it, but is the focus of your performance for yourself or others?
I ask this important question because that's why many of us do not fulfill those New Year's resolutions, and that is why they remain exactly what they are and nothing more. If you have found yourself doing this, and would like to break this cycle and develop resolutions that become habits, then consider following these simple and few steps:
1. Determine who you have been performing for. Is it your spouse, partner, a boss, or even a parent, or child? Understanding why is also important, but not a necessary at this moment. Cut ties with these resolutions, because obviously they are not your own.
2. Revisit your list of resolutions and make adjustments as necessary. Make the changes that you would like to see in your life, for you. Here's a list of a few examples:
Create a vision board
Running a marathon
Exercising at 2-3 days out of 7
Getting a facial and massage monthly
Keeping a date night with your significant other
Going back to school
Stepping out of your comfort zone more
Travel a little more
Take those vacation days!!!
Take mental health days!!!
Meditate more
Start reading for pleasure again
Watch a good movie or TV series
Develop a new hobby that interests
Connect with old family or friends
3. Begin to keep a journal of your progress. Many times we do not turn our resolutions into habits because we get busy with the demands of life and plum forget about them, only to try to pick them back up again at the beginning of the next year. Follow a plan for journaling. This can be once per week, or once per month. However it works for you, but make sure you do it.
If journaling doesn't appeal to you, think of having someone close to you become your check-in partner. They will help to keep you accountable to yourself. Set your check-ins at interval times as well to remain consistent.
It's time to perform for yourself. Make 2018 the year of YOU! Focus more on your needs, desires and expectations, and not that of others. Be selfish for once. Understand that life's demands are endless, and there is truly no way you will ever finish every one's to-do list. Get comfortable with that notion, slow down your pace a little, and become more mindful of your own needs. Be faithful to yourself first, and you will notice just how more available, optimistic, energized, and present you are to meet life head on.
I would love to hear about your resolutions, and also how you plan to monitor your progress. Post a picture of your journal, or discuss a different way you will make this Your year!!!
visit my website at www.rwellnessservices.com
email me at rwellnessservices@gmail.com
Consultations are free!
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